The Shoap Family

Toni and Miriam Shoap

Our story to having a child was a long one. Miriam (i call her Mir) and I got married in 2008. About three years later, we started trying to have children. Mir was never interested in carrying a child and due to medical reasons, shouldn't. I was very interested and after some testing, told it should be a fairly easy process as I had no apparent fertility issues. We found sperm banks online, and after spending a little time searching for qualities we would want in a mate, we picked our first (of many, many) donors.

Over the next four years, we did 14 IUI(Intra-uterine insemination) treatments with more than 6 different donors through 2 different fertility clinics and somewhere along the way gained the diagnosis of unexplained infertility. Those four years were difficult - emotionally, financially and on the marriage. At points, we were at complete odds about having children altogether. There were bouts of depression, doubt and anger that we were able to overcome, which led us to an even stronger commitment to one another.

After all this struggle, we were notified that my insurance would finally cover part of the fertility treatments, which any family who has had difficulties conceiving can assure you, makes a world of difference. Very quickly our treatment options expanded and we were able to do IVF (in-vitro fertilization) treatments. My body responded to that very well and after a single IVF attempt, we became pregnant with our first child.

On May 2, 2015, Evin Harrison Shoap came into our lives and it's been more amazing than we ever could have imagined. We've been blessed with a calm, happy, inquisitive child and we couldn't love him more. We're like all first time parents, who talk about dirty diapers, breastfeeding and tummy time more than we ever imagined we would and it is fantastic. We look forward to seeing him grow into a strong, smart person.

We're unsure if we will have any more children. Our little threesome is pretty special and we're very happy with it right now. Either way that we go, we are lucky. We have this awesome little boy as part of our lives and to be a part of his.

If anyone has any further questions about our experience, we are willing to talk to anyone. It was a tough journey to start with, but has been worth every painful moment for what we have now.

-Toni Shoap

Interested in talking to Miriam and Toni? email info@familypridenetwork.org to get connected!